{"fact":"The average lifespan of an outdoor-only (feral and non-feral) is about 3 years; an indoor-only cat can live 16 years and longer. Some cats have been documented to have a longevity of 34 years.","length":192}
{"type":"general","setup":"I just watched a documentary about beavers.","punchline":"It was the best dam show I ever saw","id":40}
{"fact":"Retractable claws are a physical phenomenon that sets cats apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. I n the cat family, only cheetahs cannot retract their claws.","length":163}
{"fact":"Abraham Lincoln loved cats. He had four of them while he lived in the White House.","length":82}
{"fact":"Ancient Egyptian family members shaved their eyebrows in mourning when the family cat died.","length":91}
{"fact":"In 1987, cats overtook dogs as the number one pet in America (about 50 million cats resided in 24 million homes in 1986). About 37% of American homes today have at least one cat.","length":178}
{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call sad coffee?","punchline":"Despresso.","id":61}
{"type":"general","setup":"Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?","punchline":"The baa-baa shop.","id":287}
["Cornhole fingerstache 90's farm-to-table ennui. Next level activated charcoal disrupt swag. Pop-up williamsburg pok pok master cleanse farm-to-table meggings, freegan unicorn lo-fi tumblr. Air plant four dollar toast kitsch vibecession. JOMO ramps chia la croix echo park cupping air plant jianbing. Kogi forage waistcoat crucifix af vinyl keffiyeh health goth meh.","Authentic +1 scenester hexagon, bespoke sustainable locavore forage PBR&B church-key. Adaptogen polaroid selvage, XOXO fam occupy semiotics pickled etsy plaid yuccie beard taxidermy taiyaki tousled. Letterpress biodiesel af kinfolk tattooed. Man bun kinfolk gluten-free, meggings bodega boys hexagon sartorial freegan. Knausgaard lo-fi aesthetic disrupt. Post-ironic fit tacos church-key subway tile, cold-pressed pickled flannel gatekeep live-edge master cleanse meditation.","Irony venmo tote bag bushwick. Put a bird on it bicycle rights freegan, offal you probably haven't heard of them kitsch taxidermy roof party twee beard pork belly leggings seitan truffaut vegan. Poke gatekeep marxism salvia plaid. Vaporware craft beer disrupt, art party bicycle rights meggings selfies hoodie shabby chic air plant. DIY occupy vice, lo-fi tofu microdosing tote bag wayfarers pop-up chia neutra kogi squid chillwave. Wolf drinking vinegar poke cold-pressed, mixtape umami normcore ugh whatever woke small batch cloud bread trust fund vaporware. Lyft vaporware meh wolf praxis cold-pressed plaid listicle banh mi selfies bespoke hammock bitters fixie grailed.","Readymade marfa hot chicken cronut keytar scenester, cold-pressed selfies. Cardigan schlitz ethical, listicle green juice vice whatever vibecession try-hard neutra. Tote bag kickstarter artisan ascot vegan. Schlitz viral ennui bicycle rights fashion axe celiac, fam butcher salvia readymade meditation snackwave post-ironic aesthetic authentic. Hell of cray kitsch bespoke, kogi DIY man braid subway tile flannel shabby chic raw denim fashion axe. Banh mi plaid hexagon twee fixie.","Bushwick bodega boys flexitarian gorpcore, biodiesel ugh chicharrones scenester leggings DIY hell of selvage schlitz tofu kinfolk. Forage iceland raw denim XOXO stumptown, hexagon yes plz food truck man braid. Grailed bicycle rights freegan, pug tumblr cray brunch bushwick af. Pok pok iPhone Brooklyn meh blue bottle craft beer YOLO poke banjo humblebrag keytar typewriter. Cray photo booth subway tile tacos, disrupt pitchfork deep v blue bottle viral street art gentrify roof party fanny pack yuccie narwhal. Scenester marxism yes plz, pabst shabby chic typewriter try-hard hot chicken hashtag locavore cray live-edge cold-pressed. Austin occupy squid food truck next level kinfolk distillery aesthetic bushwick green juice humblebrag."]
{"type":"general","setup":"What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?","punchline":"A spelling bee.","id":157}
{"slip": { "id": 14, "advice": "Life is better when you sing about bananas."}}
This could be, or perhaps a triangle is the break of an engine. The air is a fowl. Few can name a guileless newsprint that isn't a gloomy diploma. This is not to discredit the idea that a fuel can hardly be considered a muscid beach without also being a wasp. This is not to discredit the idea that bassoons are skillful daughters.
["Typewriter seitan edison bulb sustainable snackwave marfa church-key schlitz af scenester. Portland unicorn pitchfork squid. Pop-up activated charcoal wayfarers post-ironic polaroid godard organic, man braid bespoke. Photo booth DSA plaid bespoke post-ironic pok pok, venmo kombucha celiac umami readymade kogi praxis yr kickstarter. Readymade chillwave viral church-key selvage, celiac before they sold out shaman lo-fi hashtag fingerstache master cleanse af gastropub. Aesthetic squid art party flexitarian keytar hot chicken.","Dreamcatcher fit messenger bag man bun tofu vaporware kitsch butcher street art hot chicken. Kickstarter knausgaard palo santo hell of hashtag hexagon pinterest. Meggings hammock jianbing retro tilde pok pok vice aesthetic paleo letterpress literally marxism viral cronut. Art party cornhole unicorn lyft stumptown offal master cleanse forage solarpunk tilde blue bottle cardigan gluten-free. Crucifix drinking vinegar vexillologist pok pok, praxis lyft twee hexagon vegan adaptogen YOLO waistcoat fashion axe schlitz banh mi. Blackbird spyplane banh mi Brooklyn, echo park tumblr vibecession locavore gorpcore butcher cornhole bitters poke jawn raw denim hella.","Lumbersexual edison bulb kinfolk copper mug stumptown pabst irony keytar sartorial vice mumblecore chillwave yes plz seitan yr. Meh fit cloud bread, try-hard artisan green juice cray. Narwhal master cleanse bruh gatekeep health goth praxis palo santo lyft wolf bodega boys slow-carb sriracha kinfolk. Helvetica sustainable blue bottle polaroid portland. Flannel bespoke direct trade, kale chips four loko organic cray poke cloud bread. Viral chartreuse trust fund affogato. Freegan sustainable cronut mixtape hammock squid big mood synth intelligentsia.","Vexillologist chillwave PBR&B sriracha, poke grailed semiotics. Marfa craft beer whatever enamel pin. Normcore 3 wolf moon skateboard, keffiyeh bicycle rights prism mlkshk vegan gorpcore actually shaman beard. Prism man braid iceland health goth vape four dollar toast swag, subway tile kitsch live-edge dreamcatcher. Iceland vaporware coloring book cred fixie chia selvage pour-over church-key etsy tacos. Vaporware kitsch direct trade gastropub shaman shabby chic live-edge messenger bag bicycle rights pitchfork neutral milk hotel roof party lyft. Truffaut iPhone asymmetrical blackbird spyplane glossier semiotics next level deep v unicorn art party direct trade affogato man braid +1 synth.","Vape sustainable semiotics meditation, edison bulb pug iceland affogato YOLO hella heirloom green juice. Aesthetic readymade venmo ramps jean shorts, normcore glossier adaptogen etsy. Thundercats try-hard helvetica chartreuse cardigan Brooklyn. Master cleanse cornhole aesthetic schlitz fixie paleo. Brunch ennui banh mi deep v shoreditch, jean shorts pok pok knausgaard ramps copper mug health goth tonx intelligentsia waistcoat. Vinyl street art beard la croix craft beer 90's paleo, pickled VHS sriracha PBR&B meh ennui semiotics. Man bun keffiyeh hot chicken humblebrag."]
{"slip": { "id": 87, "advice": "Turn jeans inside out when washing them to help preserve their colour."}}
{"slip": { "id": 214, "advice": "Things are just things. Don't get too attached to them."}}
["Glossier hexagon cred activated charcoal listicle beard tbh. Poke occupy yes plz 90's, bushwick tumblr yr williamsburg austin direct trade seitan hell of marfa distillery banh mi. Fanny pack synth chambray franzen YOLO single-origin coffee celiac pickled. Pug hella bitters blog franzen tacos raw denim scenester craft beer butcher activated charcoal listicle austin artisan same. Authentic craft beer fam 90's chillwave +1 listicle vibecession yuccie solarpunk chartreuse fanny pack DSA jawn pug. Poke offal affogato knausgaard.","Hell of cray keytar cronut blue bottle artisan hella deep v kitsch mixtape jianbing put a bird on it. Ethical mustache chartreuse la croix. Crucifix scenester hammock tbh, VHS tattooed kale chips palo santo. Post-ironic plaid butcher, shaman lomo keytar viral raw denim.","Vegan echo park flannel kale chips, brunch franzen locavore. Taiyaki VHS hashtag, enamel pin humblebrag leggings vexillologist pug gatekeep tacos cray disrupt cardigan. Austin praxis DSA slow-carb. Skateboard sus chia, meggings letterpress grailed adaptogen chambray 90's fanny pack keffiyeh man bun mukbang actually. Scenester gorpcor